I have been quite. Real life stuff - New guild with a non weekend raid schedule yeah!
But I want to talk about Ahats. Insert two ss’s after the A to get my drift, but as I am not sure what work filters consider to be a swear word I erred on the side of caution.
I did a 9 in a row heroic blitz over the weekend, by the time we had finished. Well I had finished – I was sore, tired and pee’d off.
I ended my run with one of our party members muted and blocked in chat because he was that annoying. He wasn’t a guildy but a ‘friend’ of someone else in the remaining guild members of the party. If it had been a pug I would have left it by about the third Instance in the nine, it took me to about the sixth to mute him, and the seventh to /ignore. He would go on and on about something in my playstyle, it wasn’t constructive feed back, my dps was awesome! so he wasn’t poking fun of my ability to play, but there was one thing he repeated over and over. Any method of approach in dealing with his comments didn’t work, reacting – not reacting – admonishing him – telling him to stop it – that the joke isn’t funny anymore – that I will block him if he continued. It never occurred to me to leave party, if it had been a pug I would have done it in a heartbeat.
If I had kicked up a stink and threatened to leave party I would have been the weak one for not being able to control the situation. I couldn’t appeal to my guildys for support because of their association with this person , and when I tried their response was simply. “Thats norm for such and such” and so because he was an Ahat I had to suck it up. I did, and it made me grouchy, and annoyed, and I will never group or party with him again.
In another case we were in a pug Hjyal run, consisting of people associated with members of our guild in some way and my connection keep embarrassingly crashing. So i pulled out of the raid. In that pug one of our guild members was subjected to annoying, and targeted abusive chat in vent, to the point where they allowed her access to a channel that some of them were talking in ( I’m not quite sure how they did it, but you can connect several users so you can talk in the same channel but only people you allow can hear, and to the rest of the raid they can see your mic on yellow, when they talk) and said some things that were not nice to say. This upset her, and apparently they apologised later and said that they were bored and picked a random target.
I don’t know what was said – but its not on. Its not a girl thing, its not adult / kid thing its about you do not have to put with crap in your recreation time. You may work with people you don’t like, or have to deal with unpleasant people all day, but the time that you chose to sit down for some fun, and recreation you should not have to deal with ahats. I’m not even talking about an abusive raid leader here, just people who go out of their way to make your own game/play miserable to sate some sick desire of their own.
In real life Id like to think I have a pretty good moral compass. If I was at a bar or a party and someone was annoying or abusing me I would walk away, leave, avoid, Smile and nod, and move on. My friends would not allow or support that persons actions, yet in a raid or guild environment something else keeps you there. The consequences of your standing up for your rights are higher.
I read an article where it said that the power of embarrassment is more powerful then Will. I didn’t leave the party because I was embarrassed that I was being targeted. Reacting so extremely would have only made the person behave worse, and they would have won by ”Driving me to fury” I am an adult. I would not let someone abuse me so in real life, yet in the virtual world you can. How is that right?
Yes you can report them to a Gm, but sometimes I feel like that is also running home to tell mummy that the kids are teasing you, it would be embarrassing for mummy to come to school to tell the teacher that little bobby is calling you names.
So i Muted him, and /ignored. Did that fix the problem? – Probably not, but at least I had regained some control of the situation by not having to listen to him.
My principles may cost me, I mean it, I choose not to play with him agai, and I will call him on it if it ever arises and he ends up in a party or a pug.
Am I being over sensitive – perhaps – I can deal with ribbing, feedback, mucking round, playing , I don’t deal well with a consistent barrage – hence the blocking.