Scene opens to four people on bare stage standing in haphazard angles to each other. Spotlight on each as their part is said.
Warrior Looking at Sword being held in his hand sings:
This is my sword.
There are many Swords like this one, but this is Miiiiiiiiine
( change stance – move arm with song rhythm)
I feel much joy when I stab and slash
I beat those nasty mobs into mob MASH! ( Shout)
Hunter looking at bow, and stroking string sings:
This is my bow.
There are many Bows like this one, but this is Miiiiiiine
(pretend to aim at Audience)
My bow string twangs and arrow flys
It makes bloody holes and then mobs die!
Mage: Speaks sarcastically looking at Audience. Hand on sword strapped to his belt -
This is my Sword.
There are many other Swords, but this freaking paddle is mine.
Its blunt . I can’t hit anything with it. It just won’t do damage. On top of that. Do you know how heavy it its. ( Mage wiggles hip and loses balance. Tries to take sword off belt in comical manner)
( mage throws Sword on ground ) Cue FX file Swordclang1
Priest -Holding dagger out pointing to Audience :Says shrilly
This is my Dagger .
There are many other bloody pointy daggers like this one but this one is mine. Do you think I want to get close enough to something to stab it? As if someone dressed in cloth like me ( hands indicate priest body) wants to go anywhere near some nasty mob to stick this in them! ( Kneels down and tries to stab the stage – Dagger won’t stick and falls to ground)
All four together
These are our weapons – Forged in flame and fire.
We fight for the love of our cities, and factions.
We stand together in honor and glory
( all look to ceiling – raising hands with ‘spirit fingers’
and sometimes we die!