“I can’t… mum’s cooking a lamb roast.”


Michael Grays Ready check: How to make that vital member show up made me think about when the idea  of  when a committment to people on the interwebs became as important as a committment to people in my real life,  and  how easily I can be manipulated when it comes to wow commitments. There are some things I don’t say no to that I should.

The main point I got from the  article was  about getting that vital person to turn up to your raids, and basically applying social pressure, via guilt trips and ego stroking to make them. ” We need you..  stroke The raid can’t go ahead without you ” stroke

In a progression guild environment,  if you needed to apply this type of pressure on any of your essential people,  then your already in trouble – guilds work because  there is an automatic assumption of commitment as per your agreed raiding times,  you turn up – you get purples – progression  – prestige – what ever the aim.  Most non casual guilds  have attendance requirements. If you don’t meet them, then you will miss out on things and get replaced.

How to make a raid member show up, is worth a read,  but I am going to assume that it’s written partially tongue in cheek.  You should not have to manipulate someone into a commitment.  In game.  In real life.

One point of the article that disturbs me a little in it’s use for exerting social pressure  is the part of Michael’s article  “Trade some contact information” It’s no longer just posting  on a forum saying your late – not available.  It’s having your personal email address,  Mobile number, Home number made available to people who will try to peer pressure you into being available for what they want you to be.  Of course it’s still your choice to share this information.

I can tell you the exact moment when my Wow/Real Life commitment priority switch got confused for the 1st time.  I was sitting in a dodgy Irish Pub In Sydney on a weekend drinking beer with friends,  and getting anxious that I might be missing out on  late night bit of raiding they were trying to squeeze in outside of normal raiding times. Having to be anti social and email from my phone the raid leader telling them,  that I would not likely make it home in time, and that I was sorry.  Looking at my friend laughing at me when I explained what I was doing.

That was by email,  not so bad.

But imagine getting a call from someone.  ”  The Raid will be called if you don’t turn up”   How does that make you feel?  Even the coldest of hearts has to be thinking.  “If  I’m not there – 9 other people have had their time wasted. “

This is my list of what I consider to be the methods of communicating social/peer  pressure with the most  affective at the top, based on methods to make it difficult to  ignore social pressure  ( so yeah if you really want me to do something you better be asking me face to face.)

1) face to face
2) Phone call / vent
3) text message
4) Whisper In game
5) email
6) forum post

There are people I have shared personal contact information with,  while it can have it’s uses I probably have been somewhat pressured to  be available by my ability to be contacted .  (  I am not talking about you.  Yes I know that’s what your thinking.)

With the implementation of real ID – hiding on an alt will be difficult and I’m undecided as to if I want to use it because of its additional way it makes me contactable.

I know your playing, and you are in…    Why are you ignoring me?

I don’t have a secret alt  I hide on,  but I know some people who do – or only share it with some people.

Like most social media trends it will depend on if my friends use it – and whats it’s used for.  So I will wait  – am happy to be a sheep rather than a trend setter.   I am interested in its potential,  and eagerly await the scandals that I am sure will appear in trade channel and forums, and will be interesting to see if it will be used to exert peer pressure/social pressure

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10 Responses to ““I can’t… mum’s cooking a lamb roast.””


  1. 1 Ablimoth June 23, 2010 at 4:17 am

    I have a (many) secret alt(s) across a couple of servers as well. Sometimes guilds are just too much.

    I most likely won’t be using Real ID…

  2. 2 Narx June 23, 2010 at 4:22 am

    I’ll be using secret alts but they aren’t that secret (I use a naming convention for my toons)

    Real ID will be purely for RL friends only. IF GL/RL’s want to get to me – they have to go through them first.

  3. 3 Rhii June 23, 2010 at 5:32 am

    I have split feelings on this. When I was a kid, if I signed up for a team, I went to every single practice unless I was throwing up or had a measurable fever. My parents were drilling into our heads the importance of commitment (probably instilling such a fear of it, in the process, that none of their three adult children are married… moving on…) If you were part of that team, you went to your practices. You didn’t skip it just this once to go to Katie’s house after school. You might get out on an important family occasion (Grandma and Grandpa’s 50th anniversary springs to mind) or if your coach is so inconsiderate as to schedule practice on a major holiday (my brother had basketball practice on Christmas Eve two years running!).

    My commitment to my raid and my guildies is similar. They’re real people just like my little league coach and teammates. I don’t skip unless I’m too ill or if there’s something momentous going on. I definitely don’t think of it being different than any other “real life” obligation that I might have. Lower priority than family weddings, absolutely. Lower priority than meeting coworkers for a beer? Probably not… why would coworkers I may or may not know well win out over people I have a standing commitment to? Being on a raid team is just like every other team I’ve ever been on… it’s part of my real life, not separate from it.

    However, I think you should never feel bad or obligated to show up for extra things. And if you are, then absolutely don’t be contactable, because that’s not what your contact info is for.

    All my serious talk about commitments aside, I would be very tempted to drop everything for lamb roast.

    • 4 Key June 23, 2010 at 1:39 pm

      I’m right there with you on the team aspect of it. I’ve been on teams my whole life, and I’ve never just not shown up because I didn’t feel like it or didn’t think the team needed me. It is a commitment, but the raid leader also needs to do their part and schedule things enough in advance and on reasonable dates and times.

      I feel for your brother having practice on Christmas Eve. One season I had basketball practice on both Thanksgiving and Christmas day, and my school was about 5 hours from my parents house. Yes it sucked, but I made the drive and attended practice with the rest of my team.

  4. 5 Shiva June 23, 2010 at 6:00 am

    To me, a raid and a guild are full of very real people who very much eat real food, breathe air and drink real water. The same air and water I need to live.

    I mean these people are my friends. But certainly we all have different level of friends and relationships and what not. What I mean is, I would be willing to go through hell and back for my mother or father, but not necessarily have such high limits for a cousin or friend I haven’t known very long.

    I also think commitments should not be made if they can’t be met. You shouldn’t feel bad for being at the bar or having a beer with one group of friends; but if you made a commitment to be elsewhere then perhaps it should be honored.

    To me, there are some online friends I’d be willing to do far more for. But I also think friendship, honor and trust are a two-way street. I know which online friends I can trust, and the others who maybe I am ~just~ a priest too. I know the ones that will stay up talking to me till 8 am because I just got dumped. The ones who I feel genuinely care for me, etc.

    As far as Real ID goes: Most people I trust can already contact me on AIM/MSN or cellphone/text. (I rarely use email). If/when implementation for cross-server groups are implemented, I might be inclined to use Real ID more often though.

  5. 6 Keith Parker June 23, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    Secret alts are one thing – second accounts are another.
    We had our guild bank looted by a member some time ago. Turned out our GM promoted him to a level where he could promote a char to withdraw – he did, they withdrew.
    Worked out both had to be online at once to do this. It was a long time ago, and we sussed out who it was quickly, but it was a real annoyance at the time

  6. 7 Cassandri June 24, 2010 at 3:41 am

    It’s funny I didn’t read the wow.com article but from what I’ve gathered… my experience in my guild has been the opposite!

    Tell people you need them and you’re asking for power-struggles and differences of opinion down the track. Make out like you don’t need them, and in fact, can sub them out for a Raider Trial at any given moment and suddenly they show up early instead of late, stop Alt-tabbing during wipe recovery…

    I don’t quite understand it. But sometimes people only value their raid spot when someone else wants it more.

  7. 8 wojtek June 24, 2010 at 7:50 am

    Read today’s Gevlon’s post, it’s kinda related ;)

  8. 9 Elly June 25, 2010 at 8:22 am

    I read the article and only got about halfway through before I got really annoyed with it and started ranting away in a post of my own! (Which I won’t link here as I think that’s a bit rude.) I honestly think GMs and officers treating new members of the guild like they advocate in that article creates bad habits and stress for younger and more impressionable guildies. Instead of laying on the guilt trip for weeks in advance they really should be adding a caveat at the end – that if that person needs to put RL above Wow for one or two nights (even to just watch telly) it’s perfectly okay as long as they don’t agree to turn up for the raid and give advance notice.

  9. 10 Katherine July 1, 2010 at 10:18 pm

    This is why I prefer having a fixed raid schedule. I know ahead of time whether I’ll be able to raid with the guild on a regular basis and I show up on time every time (barring extreme circumstances) and get to raid. If people want me in RL they have all the days I don’t raid to hang out with me.


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