Sweater on backwards and inside out


We wear uniforms at school in Australia, and in school my group of friends were concert age when Alanis did her Jagged little pill tour – we were lucky to get into the mosh pit and it was pretty amazing to be so close to the artist we adored, and who’s every lyric we had memorized. After the concert It started a trend among my friends – we would wear out school jumpers inside out and back to front. I thought it was silly so initially refused – until I was told I wasn’t a big enough Alanis fan then – hint can’t hang with us .  I folded, felt stupid, but we got over it pretty quickly – and our jumpers resumed normal position.  I did it  so I felt like I belonged, and people do all sorts of things to feel excepted or part of a group.  There are other types of peer pressure , and a jumper is a very mild version of the choices  put towards us on a daily basis. In the scheme of things of a group of friends doing something that was harmlessly stupid that contributes to group cohesion ( and doesn’t involve something incredibly stupid or dangerous or harmful – yes I had to add that disclaimer)  is ok. 

When you join a new guild participating in guild activities  and your interactions in guild  is one way of finding your place in its social hierarchy, and to feel like you belong.  Sometimes it might mean wearing your sweater on backwards  for a little while.   

You also participate in ‘bonding activities.’ You might  find a new interest in Arena,  try to catch the guild after  Raid for the holiday quest, or do the LFG random,  premade  BG groups,  Go on retro raids, answer a request for someones alt wanting a carry, or even join a 10′s team.  All those things I have done to some degree, not because I want to – or that it suits my interest or goals, or even that I am going to have fun,  some of it has been obligation. No I did not want to heal through Sunwell,  but it means we get to go as a group. I don’t care about a stupid mount ( but others do), ect.

These things I think are as important in ‘bonding’ or fitting in  as actually turning up for the scheduled raid times. As much as think I am my own player, and will jump servers because I can, as well as  chose my own ‘fun’ – I want to be a loyal guildy - I like ‘team building’ when individual agendas do not rule or run the show, because I think it creates a bond beyond ‘ just a green health bar you keep topped up occasionally, I want to play with people not npc’s.

Professional sports teams do team building activities, they don’t just play and train with each other, they also let their hair down. ( sometimes too much) They see it as helping players form bonds with each other,  like each other, and therefore work better together, we don’t have to be friends, or invite each other over for barbeques,  but the better the team works together the better your results says an old management adage. It’s why teams go to lunch together, or after work drinks together.  Some guilds organise special in-game events.  Guilds have Fancy dress competitions  or even like one guild I was in did a Cow race with Taurens in Pink Tabards it’s all about fun, and bonding.

However  – I don’t want to get confused  because a building a working relationship and ‘lets be best buds forever’  is different.  It doesn’t matter how many times you run Sunwell or TK for someone because they really wanted that mount  – they will, and you will walk away as easily as it to server transfer or G quit – and it’s easy to feel betrayed because someone left you.  So keep that in mind whenever you go out of your way for someone elses goal, appreciate the bonding, but don’t get walked all over and used.  Wear your sweater backwards on occasion,  but also never be afraid to stand up for the big things.

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4 Responses to “Sweater on backwards and inside out”


  1. 1 Shiva November 4, 2010 at 2:43 am

    You never know… I’ve known some people online for 10+ years at this point. I suppose around 11-12 years. And I’ve only been online for 13 years or so, so I think that’s pretty good.

    From my first guild, I probably talk to 2 people. This was 5-6 years ago on WoW though. But still, those are pretty good odds and people I like.

    • 2 Pugnacious Priest November 4, 2010 at 3:12 am

      I talk to some guildys from old guilds – some because they know I am ‘here’ I have someone from my 1st guild on FB, and a few others from various places in my wow history. I’m not discounting REAL friendships, but think that bonding as a team is important, even if you would never pick them to be a real friend in real life.

      • 3 Narx November 4, 2010 at 6:08 am

        Now is the time amongst any times to do the team/guild bonding thing.

        One thing that has become very clear over the past few weeks in the leadup to Cataclysm is who the ‘guild’ really is.

        And there is no doubt there is hilarity when you go back and faceroll old content and watch it all slip away so very quickly.

        Even better is when you have people who joined the content cycle late.. and they can go back to the raids many of us cut our teeth on.

        Ah…

  2. 4 Syl November 4, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    It’s all give & take to me personally, nobody wants to be in a guild where he cannot pursue his more personal goals, at the same time you will always end up helping out and doing things for somebody else that you usually wouldn’t do. as long as both are in balance, i am happy in my guild. one point is to find a guild that meets your playstyle and goals of course.

    the bonding aspect is an interesting point – i haven’t switched guild in years but from the few times i have been the newcomer in one, i remember that i never enjoyed those first weeks much. it’s all about establishing yourself and getting others to know you as much as knowing them and indeed, you can end up killing yourself trying to help out and sign other people’s runs just to familiarize yourself. i guess the best advice is to relax and give it time, if the guild is for you, you will become a part automatically. and whatever you do, stay natural. :)


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