Shallow Social media


I used to have friends on Facebook,  but gradually over the years I have been deleting people. I’m down to 9.  I’ve been using it less, and liking stuff less, and not posting anything.

One of my highschool friends was one of the first people to get upset for me deleting them.

“Why?”

Because he was a lurker,  just watched. What was the point on having this silent thin thread of a connection, when I could text him  ( no one calls anymore ) and say lets catch up for a drink.

Antisocial is now cool

My two best friends have never been on Facebook.  Yet I can not see them for weeks, and one catch up can recharge me, make me happy,  feel loved and connected more than a 100 comments or likes on some random shit I said on Facebook

Facebook was like my 18th Birthday party.  Ok so no one run off with my best friends boyfriend, and there was no puking on my  pink carpet in the bedroom nor was there a keg ( unless you count that cocktail app in the early days )   . But there were  awkward interactions with relatives,  My little sister running around with her friends, Wall flowers, friends from different social circles that didn’t know each other, and sometimes didn’t get along, and a Shitbag cocktail of stuff.  ( we dubbed that the drink when we put all the left over drinks into a cocktail )

Some of the most interesting people I have met, and  communicated with recently do not actively use/have ever used Facebook.

It sounds rather unsocial of me.  How dare I not want to be tagged in a family photo  or have my entire office as a friend so that they know exactly what I am doing on my holidays/weekend/sick day. How could i not want to know the inner workings of my random acquaintances political opinions, and their general opinion of people.  or your dinner plates or see one of your 500 selfies.

But I don’t want to be connected that way,  and maybe it’s just me.  My desire to keep some of my life segmented as much as possible.

At times, it felt so shallow,   I was friends with a girl from Uni, and I followed her through her break up with her ex,  her custody issues,  finding a new love, an engagement and a wedding.   I felt like a voyeur.  Not close enough to attend the wedding,  but friendly enough to watch her life events unfold.

I couldn’t brain vomit ideas, or thoughts, or discuss my day, my interests, developing ideologies, opinions and thoughts, but then I had people getting into arguments and being patronising to each other. Or people who didn’t like someone and was like. Why are you friends with THAT person.

The ” my little boy did a poop – so proud posts’ were also TMI

I liked it for posting what ever creative project I was doing.  Like Baby Diaper cakes, and Paper flowers,  ( but then I decided I am probably better off giving them their own blog ( Which I may do later.. )  – it was more of a record, or a way to show off. Look what I did!

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And of course cute Kitty Photos.

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I concluded that most of the content worth sharing, was just too serious for that platform.  Cute kitties and  stupid jokes,  light and happy stuff, and  a diet of that kind of stuff made me feel  empty. The relationships weren’t real.  People & friends  were  strangers or I knew too much about their dinners.  Conversations where. ‘Oh I did this last weekend’  ‘yeah I saw the pictures’  I know  some of this is with the Irony  of someone with a public blog, and a twitter user, and both sometimes come with a pressure to perform or display,

Facebook was an excellent book marking system.( everything on the web has a like button now )I absolutely love the pages idea.  People were syndicating blog updates/news/articles through their Facebook, and I was able to be informed on so many more things in an efficient manner.  Look one of my fav bands has a new album out,  woot! a new book from a fav author ect….   I love this…  but then they changed they way you see your history and activity, and the algorithms so you didn’t see every post of a page you liked, and I sometimes miss stuff, and when people realised not so many people were seeing it,  they updated their pages less often ect.

I also like, and still use the group feature.  It’s a way of being connected as an interest group, yet still maintaining your individuality. My Guild, and my writers group have active Facebook groups, and people participate.

I think social media is far from dead, there are many positives,  but I think Facebook is I guess too casually intimate.

I feel like I am somewhat obligated to apologise for deleting people.  It’s not you,  it’s me,   don’t take it personal, mum no I don’t want to be your friend.  I have your number/skype,  lets catch up at the next shindig.  Some  I would have liked to stay in contact with but for various reasons,  other people ‘s relationship breakdowns,  friendship politics, and casual acquaintances , and some I wish I had become closer to, not just people who like each others random facebook posts. But thats for me to act on IRL

( I posted this here,  because I don’t really have other space set up for brain Vomiting, and internet/social media, gaming..  it’s all related…. sorta )

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6 Responses to “Shallow Social media”


  1. 1 Klepsacovic August 21, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    Once upon a time I decided that I needed the assistance of facebook to meet with friends more often (which it turned out to be great for, at least as an initial booster). I went to reactivate my account, only to find that I’d entirely forgotten anything I’d need to get to it. I was blessed with the opportunity to make a new account and therefore start fresh, knowing now that I shouldn’t friend everyone I was acquainted with, but rather, friend those people who I want to be able to keep in touch with and who often organize events that I’d want to go to. Somehow I’ve still ended up with about five dozen friends, but they’re all either people I keep up with or who don’t post stuff I don’t care about.

  2. 3 shawndrakai August 25, 2013 at 7:28 am

    Is it ironic that there was a Facebook share button on the bottom of your post in my feed reader?

    Lately I have been hard pressed to keep up with the too many posts from a lot of people I barely even know and I’m just about done with it. Except it’s useful to share pictures with far flung family members. So I’m kinda stuck with it.

  3. 5 Pugnacious Priest August 26, 2013 at 4:48 am

    It was an analogy – added for humor.

    I have chosen to withdraw from that social media thus asserting control. It’s still a tool , best used for your own purposes not because your worried you will upset someone if you leave

  4. 6 theerivs September 4, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    Facebook allows me to see pictures of my drunken adventures., which is an invaluable tool when you black out, and don’t remember what you did the night before.


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