I found my self in an interesting position at our Guild meet up in real life, we were talking about ex guildys, a guildy who had recently quit and some new applicants – as you do…. and a comment was made briefly about an ex guildy – nothing too bad, but it was along the lines of we didnt want her/didnt belong…
So as I do, I interjected and said, “She is the reason why I’m here today. I piggy backed off her application, I had said to her at the time that everyone was Gquitting from the raiding guild I was in.. “Take me with you.. ” as a joke. I hadn’t really decided when I was leaving, or where to, and 2 Minutes later I was in a new guild.
“You can’t say you that you actually liked her.. ”
“Yes… I did” Conversation drifted off after that.
Now I’ve not met her in real life, nor even heard her speak on vent ( never had a mic) I’ve seen a pic, seen her chat in Guild chat and whispers ect ect.. and firstly the package of my contact adds up to that she is a girl…. that she is not the most serious of people, but loves playing wow She has never caused drama, and when she was politely told that ” We probably have too many of your class” She left without raging, without moaning or bagging out the guild or the people in Trade or on Forums, and that certainly is enough for me to defend her. She is now in a much better place.
I’ve been on her side of the coin, Left a guild and heard through other people that I was bagged out – I was even accused of changing the officers notes before I left, and hence was bad mouthed by a officer to the rest of the guild – people who were ‘friends’ and a place that I called home was now worth nothing but ‘fond’ memories and they were all removed from my Flist because I couldnt see them wanting to ever talk to me again. It hurt. Alot. – and even the apology later on by ingame mail as to that they never really doubted my innocence and that my name was cleared did nothing but cementthat leaving was the right thing.
So can you maintain good relations with an ex guild?
There are always the legends of a guild, the people who left and were AWESOME! The Best of their class – knew their toon inside out….. The Biggest legends are the ones who burned out – or quit wow for a serious real life reason.
The Second biggest are those who change sides. Eg They have decided to concentrate on their raiding on the opposite faction side, and promise to pop up everynow and then on their old guild and say hello
But the ones who are shunned…. the ones who are moaned about and only their bad qualities remembered are the ones who moved on for greener pastures, stayed on the server.
Loot Ho’s – Users – Ninjas Even if they weren’t.
A Gquit on what you think is on friendly terms turns into ” We kicked him/her because…..” ( this doesn’t include the REAL ninjas – or tards. Just the people who decide to leave for varying reasons – )
Its not impossible to maintain good relations.. just very hard – by staying friendly with an officer in your old guild ( especially if your an ex officer) is bad for them. It puts them in a position where they may need to defend you, or ignore what is said because the priority is the guild. Not you. Good people often take other good people with them because of this, its the nature of guilds and guild hoping, because your loyalty can be to the people more often then the Tag.
The aim of Gquitting seems to be – make as least people hate you before you go –
I’ve been thinking Who would defend me if I go ?
Alot of people say that their Guild is like their family, and it can be, but if they are people I would count as friends, I have their email, or facebook or whatever so we can maintain that friendship no matter what happens in game.. I don’t belive in being friends with an Avatar – I like you. Not the shinny armor set you wear,
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I think it’s commendable that you defend the person being slagged.
A similar situation happened to me lately: the whole guild quit and reformed, and I wasn’t invited because I was “holding them back because I gave people too many chances”. And you’re right: nobody defended me. People told me that I was a great guy, and they loved playing with me, but then basically left and went with the people who thought I wasn’t worth having around. And that’s rough. And very disappointing. And like you said, there doesn’t seem to be any point to having people on your friend’s list, because you really can’t see any reason to talk to them anymore, not after they do that.
So thanks for your post, and thanks for standing up for someone, even if it turns into an awkward moment.
LOL – Im sorry Riprap.. but giving people chances should be a “this is a person we want to keep” without knowing the complete story and if thats the only major reason then you are better off without them –
Interesting post. Last night I found myself /gkick-ing someone from our guild. I’m sure he’ll act the part that we were unfair to him, etc.
He’s very odd and even admits it. He says random odd things all day long. When no one replies he says, “I know. Shut up [insert his name].” He’s been a committed player and although a few people have expressed their desire to see him leave, I’ve defended him in that he’s never really caused any drama and he genuinely has wanted to help the guild.
He attempted to start a relationship with a married woman in our guild. He believes the reason I kicked him was because of that relationship and that I’m lying when I say it was because it was the repeated random “Well, I’ve had offers hundreds of offers to join MY friends’ guilds, but have turned them down cuz I’m committed to this one” and “I talk to MY friends because they care about me” comments. Most of the members have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes here.
The problem now is I wished him well and hope his life gets better, but I can’t have him disrupting the guild with attacks about we don’t care, we’re not there for him, etc. especially when the members have no clue as to what he’s talking about.
And like you said, I liked him because he is a fairly decent guy and not for his toon, which quite frankly was poor at about everything.
He did not seem to have fit in with the team, it were the real world and he was part of a working team then the boss would need to talk to him and either ask for an explaination of his behavour, and let him know that his current conduct is unexceptable, in the case of a virtual world like wow communication can be limited and its hard to determine whats what, his threats to leave were boastful and potentially damaging ( and seems to have been) to the moral of the guild. The fun of playing with real people is that they can be random, and quirks can be endearing, or annoying, but people need feedback to adjust their behaviour, while some will never learn others take it as a reality check.. Oh.. I didnt know that Yelling out *blah blah* at random times annoyed you…. I guess what I’d like to strive for is more open communciation, practical feedback, but its got to work both ways, if he was told that he was being a pain, and kept it up, then he did need to go..
A very good post on the more human side if WoW. I’ve been a 70 a while and play a Tankadin who have only been in 2 guilds at 70.
My first guild I joined I knew the officers just from PuGing as a Tank. Eventually after been asked countless times to join their small guild at the time I eventually did. Never had a problem being there, but eventually left a month later when wasn’t much there to do or help do. They had 12 Tanks in a guild of about 30 people then. So I just has a friendly chat with the GM and a few officers and went off back to the wilderness. I was fine with it. I never get to talk to the old friends and officers much. But we still know and respect each other on our small server. We always wave when we see each other, we just never chat really. That guild is now the #5 guild on our server side.
After that joined a friends guild as a charter member when he wanted to great a guild. I met this friend who was a DPSer in my PuG when I was running lots of Shattered Halls for gear. He was a cool guy. Anyway I was there in the beginning when his guild got started. I was there to Tank the various runs to help members gear up and run Kara. We had fun running Heroics. We had fun starting Kara all new to Kara. After 2 weeks in Kara we cleared Kara. People got gear and they were happy. I was one of 2 very dedicated Tanks in the guild, me and my friend the Warrior. We both got along great as well.
After a little while the people that got their Kara gear from week to week barely showed up for raids. Every week we had a different group. Every week the 2 tanks were their on time to lead the raids with the new members. They got gear and they were happy. However the weekly inconsistencies of both members, the raid, cancelled raids, lack of core members showing up and having to run new members through Kara let to one very commuted and dedicated Tank to burn out on empty. That was me. After countless wipes with new members and others being unprepared for raiding I just had it. I was burned out. So I decide I wasn’t happy and decided to quit raiding and quit the guild. I let the GM know while deciding on my action. They we very sad to loose one their core members that held their raid togeather every week like clockwork and kept people focused on what to do and strat. When I quit the raiding and the guild I also went on Hiatus from WoW for a while to recover from my burnout.
I guess from your post above, I was the guy that had very high amount of dedication and commitment as a skilled Tank. My guild was sad to see me leave, most wondered just why I left. And since I was on Hiatus from WoW most had no clue why I had quit. When I came back to WoW many whispered me asking what happened, why I left and why I stopped logging on. I became a Legend in that guild. I still talk to the GM, I’m still friends with the other Tank in the guild. I’m still friends with many the other officers. When I run heroics which I often PuG many those friends In my ex-guild are in my PuG. We still talk and chat. I was a valued piece of that guild. But I got burned out and had to decide to go my own way. I’m now a Legend of that guild.