Selfish and Childish – But happy.

I do miss my guild – or I did. One person in particular, and he was the only reason why I rejoined these players who were from the raiding guild that blew up a couple of months ago. I thought that surely a guild under his direction would be a home.
But he wasn’t Gm – he wasn’t calling the shots, he isn’t really a leader, he is a facilitator, one who replys to 3 pages of a mailed Gquit someone knowledgable and approachable, but he’s not in the big chair.

I touched base with the person I was missing to see what the guild sentiment was in regards to my condition that I do not heal if I came back.
I explained that I was being forced into a Spec I didn’t want to be, that I was being forced to play Gimped in not so great healing oreintated gear, with the wrong Glyphs, that not only was I learning about how to be a bad healer.. I was also not learning the content as a Shadow Priest,
He said that they had sorted their healer problem out 2 days after I left.
Funny that.

He said he would love to have me back, but that the others thought I was selfish and childish for my stance, and that I would need to explain myself further and reapply.

I told him I was not interested – and I’m happier for it – I did the right thing talking to him again – I also did the right thing for not reapplying.

Childish – G quitting at 3am because it causes less drama – over the reason that they would not have fixed their problems while I was available, that my hyrid capable class was being used to fill a spot which would have seen the spot replaced by a healer. That most strats for 10 man Naxx required 2 healers, not three. ( I was the third) That I was always going to be the 3rd rate healer filling a spot as required. That if I had approached the guild in a professional manner they would have instructed their facilator to talk me back into being compliant for one more time.

Selfish – paying for own internet and subscription, and respecs x 6 to and from ( It was offered once – and you look stingy if you make the guild pay for it for a so called one off.. ) Playing the game I want to play. I had been flexible and understanding so that they all could play the game they wanted to. Hating playing healer on the toon that I had worked so damn ( sorry) hard to get to level 80 – to gear and gem and enchant the best that I could given my limited time at 80 for to be the best Shadow Priest that I could.

for what – nothing.
I am happier being selfish. A little bitter – yes – but I think the worst mistake some people ever made was trying to make me feel grateful to even be going on a raid, no matter what spec. I am better then that. I will never be the best shadow priest, I don’t have that sort of ambition, but now with less lag, and hitcapped I have some choices.

8 Responses to “Selfish and Childish – But happy.”

  1. 1 yunk December 28, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    I notice people always think you are selfish when they ask you to do something and you don’t bend over backwards for them, the inconvenience to you doesn’t even enter their minds.

    This happens outside of the game too when people ask for favors (or money). If you start, then when you decide to stop and stand up for yourself they get pissed off.

    So, now you know if someone asks you to heal to say no up front, not “ok just this once” because it’s never just that once, and they’re not asking you to heal, they’re asking you to be unhappy so that they can be happy. But if you are upfront and say “no” then actually a lot of drama is avoided. Since if you say yes, that person may think you’re ok with it when really you’re stewing inside.

    Though 3 pages is a lot 🙂 None of us know what you wrote, but in my experience when leaving (like leaving a job) it’s best to keep it short, a few sentences, mainly to avoid accidentally insulting anyone and burning a bridge you may need later.

  2. 3 Nelle December 28, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    Don’t let them bully you into something you don’t want to do – you pay for the subscription, you play it.


  3. 4 gevlon December 28, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    Actually they fixed THEIR problem by forcing you into heal.

    “you are selfish” = “you are not doing what I tell you to do”

    You are right. You are better than that. Too bad that most people obey, so they never have to reconsider their attitude.

  4. 5 Mae December 29, 2008 at 7:16 pm

    It’s a common sentiment, people want from you what they want from you and if you say no, they freak. It’s unfortunate that people can’t see that this is a game. Yes, we all want to raid and have a good time, but it’s still a game and should be played the way it can be enjoyed or not at all. If you hate healing, that doesn’t make you selfish and childish, it means you understand what you do and do not like. There’s nothing wrong with that.

  5. 6 raivyne December 31, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Asking someone to respec to fill a needed role is something I avoid at all costs in my guild.

    After the demise of the raiding guild in BC I started my own guild. One of my principles was that we would welcome all specs (a new concept in early BC) and not force anyone to spec a certain way. The flipside was that occasionally another of the same class may have to come in to fill a needed role (i.e. you have to sit).

    I have had people offer to respec and my first response is always “I would hate for you to have to do that.” Sometimes they end up respec’ing and sometimes we sit tight for a little while until another comes online.

    For Naxx though you’re right… You only need two healers (though we run with three…), except for one fight. Your VE should be more than enough supplemental healing if the two healers are geared/skilled enough.

  6. 7 raivyne December 31, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    hmm that sentence should have started, “after the demise of my old raiding guild in BC,”

  7. 8 Bruski January 8, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    Good for you. Play the game you want to play. My paladin is prot, and will never be otherwise, I don’t enjoy ret or holy. I’m lvling a druid resto to help my guild heal, but my guild never enforces respeccing, which I appreciate. As a raid leader, I have occasionally asked a warrior to respec prot for one fight, (four horsemen) or a mage to respec frost for one fight (gluth) but I’ve always covered their full costs, both speccing to what they need to be and back, and provide them with portals and summons and specifically thank them during the raid, because they’re going above and beyond the call of duty. I would not force someone to perma respec if they didn’t want to because they won’t enjoy playing that way and wont play as well. Some people can, others can’t. For example,my best friend in game is a holy priest, who will occasionally respec shadow for a raid if we need dps, because he’s rich and does mind dps, but still, i ask him his current spec before raid and try to avoid having him cahnge it.

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