We have a recent addition in our guild who is 14. I believe it caused the officers much dilemma, his written application was perfect, and interview backed up all the good things he wrote, but he is now the only under 18 year old in the guild, though his age has in no way reflected on his ability to play, and raid.
As like most of the raiding guilds on the server we are a mature raiding guild, and vent chat goes from Tame – to somewhat suggestive, and drunken gnome rants on weekends. The new player was warned about this.
Conversation in vent was heading a little ribald before raid last night, I don’t remembered what started it, people were making up alternative words for swear words in Jest ” We all must say……. instead of …. now. It lead to what does that word mean anyway….. Then someone asked of the guys ” Would you tell anyone if you woke up and found.. ” Then someone suggested we look up what another phrase meant, and the conversation went from somewhat clean fun to what I think was not appropriate for sensitive ears.
Maybe I am being an old lady ( I’m 29) but when I was 14 I may have heard adult words, but I never had to listen to a conversation by adults about vulgar details. I’m not being a prude, and nor do I want to use the phrase that started off the ribaldry, yes I was in this conversation looking up said word in the Urban Dictonary with an exclamation of ” What! that’s not nice,” It wasn’t getting offensive to me yet, so I didn’t think it worthy of stopping yet, it was playing out to an end anyway. Then I thought of the 14 year.
Omg is he in vent?
Turned out he was.
I’m sure he has heard it all before, I mean 14 year olds these days are pretty cluey, we weren’t all innocence at 14 when I was that age, but kids these days know a heck of a lot more then what I did.
When the 14 year was silent , I imagined that it was his mum and dad in the channel listening to what we were saying and would make him Gquit, weather it was because I was the only female in the channel at the time ( the whole nurture and protect instinct) , and some guilt on my part – I felt it was not a conversation I would want any child/sister/brother/ family member at that age involved in .
It doesn’t happen often a conversation of this ilk, I think one of the reasons why the guild works for me, is that there isn’t a lot of smut, there is mature conversation, and humor, but I hope no one ever feels threatened, or insulted by anything said and I’ve been in guilds where the entire raid night is spent listening to borderline offensive stuff, and with adults only forums. It’s not the type of environment I want to play in, nor subject anyone else to. I have left other guilds vent channels, because I have been offended, and the best way of dealing was to just leave and not participate.
I doubt this incident has affected our younger player in anyway as much as its caused my own values in this situation to be questioned.
Should having a younger player in the guild change how we talk or communicate, or joke in the guild? – many guilds have a firm age policy for this reason. Its not his fault, but it’s made me a little uncomfortable, and guilty that even if I was not the instigator in the conversation, that he was listening, and that we as the adults should have been aware of this and stopped, let alone the potential legal ramifications. I don’t care if he has heard it all before, I don’t want to be involved in any capacity if ( big IF) it were ever to get so out of hand again. So, my lesson is to think more when I participate in like conversations, be more aware of who is in the channel, or stop the conversations before they go too far, but how do I determine whats too far? Too far for an adult to participate in, or too far for a kid..
I guess I can’t have these thoughts without entering into should 14 year old’s even be in an adult guild? I can’t generalise, and say I believe no, because age does not determine, skill and attitude, the biggest tards I have played with are adults, and should ‘adult conversation and themes even enter into gameplay? – I would miss it. I don’t think its an essential part of my being a gamer, but more that as an adult, I have the freedom to do so, ( and it seems to be an essential part of male bonding.. )