No records of what we say or do.

“People behave badly  because there is no record of what we say or do”

This came out of an episode of  House – about a personal blogger who blogged everything in her day to day life from an argument with her SO, to who her doctors were, and what they said.  She seemed to be a tad obsessive about her blogging it, and it also irritated her Significant Other, and he had some statements that were gems of his own about people on the other side of the world knowing about things that should have been kept between them.

I was told once upon a time, one of the things someone least liked about me was my public blog. I guess I’m proving their point by that I am relaying what they said. Chances they still care enough to read this is slim to none though.

 I guess maybe it came from a concern about  airing dirty laundry, that I might tell a story about them in an un-favourable light, and people would judge them. A blog can be very one sided and I could tell you just enough to be sympathetic to me – with no means of defending themselves.

I don’t have a permi sign etched on my forehead – interact with me and I might write about it. Maybe I should.  

It’s hard to write about yourself  without putting into the equation you, or them,  or you over there.  By interacting with people I find things I want to blog about, but the context is always me.  I try to be honest, state things that can be verified if quoted as fact,  and take ownership of opinions and  admit when I have been wrong. 

You can forget however that being written about can make people uncomfortable.  Even if they aren’t named – if you can see yourself in the writing  – then you wonder can anyone else, and I apologize,  if a line or a comment can be read in such away on it’s own that is offensive to you, but it’s not the entire context, and I will defend the context.

I had to defend my blog the other day for the first time. I wanted to try this honesty from the start thing just to see how it turned out. I never made a big deal out of it,  if they were interested they would read it, it,  blogs aren’t everyone’s cup of tea,  I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

I have tried to be careful not to offend anyone  and I’ve tried to be honest and primarily I have tried to make it about what happens to me. What I learn from the experience, what I hope for the future. What I think.  People would prefer nothing is recorded, or screenshotted.  Then there is no record of what we say or do.

This is my own record of what I say and do. As much a Wow players Journal as it is a blog. A way to hold myself accountable and for that I won’t apologise for.

10 Responses to “No records of what we say or do.”

  1. 1 Cassandri September 28, 2010 at 3:24 am

    I think it sometimes is hard to explain that for 1 line you might write about someone else (that might make them uncomfortable) that exposes a small part of who they are…

    when you blog 99% of what your write exposes YOU for what YOU are.

    I think you’re absolutely right to point out that your blog is your own way of holding yourself accountable.

    Sometimes I feel like my whole life story is plainly obvious by reading my blog 😦

    At the end of the day being about to blog to an audience that is sympathetic to you and not them or others you interact with, can be pretty powerful to someone without it.

    • 2 Pugnacious Priest October 1, 2010 at 2:04 am

      I think of all the time I’ve spent doing other stuff in life – and I don’t have a record of it, eg dating/relationships should be its own book. I was a diary keeper as a teen, so blogging is kind of natural – just this diary got an audience I like that its a record. When I look back at my wasted years of gaming, I can say see I did stuff…
      I guess even if you aren’t named – as I said it’s understandable that if you see yourself in what is written then you might think others will also know that it’s you, and I will be writing a different angle if the situation ever happens again.

  2. 3 Xeppe September 28, 2010 at 3:40 am

    It’s interesting that people don’t want to be held accountable for their tells and whispers. Don’t type it in if it would embarrass you to have someone screenshot your conv and post it!

    • 4 Pugnacious Priest October 1, 2010 at 1:52 am

      My father said – never put anything in writing that you don’t want to appear on a the front page of a paper – especially when I think chat logs in wow are probably even less protected then FB Pm’s under privacy – and people’s chat logs are easily copied and pasted elsewhere with a mod – I think we have all learned the value of screenshots for preservation of facts he said/she said so on.

  3. 5 Larísa September 28, 2010 at 5:26 am

    I think it is a little problematic when you write about any other player than yourself. You’re sort of going behind their backs unless you’ve told them you’ll blog about it and they might not have any blog or the ability to express themselves and give their version of the story. That’s why I’m very careful whenever I include someone else in my stories. I normally don’t mention any other player with name and most of my mentionings are in a positive way. I bet you can find exceptions if you look closely, but that’s the basic rule. The only time I’ve written honestlya about someone and knew it would put him in a bad light, it was about my guildie who had a row with a GM and looked like a jerk. I asked if it was OK to write, at the same time telling him that I would be very honest about it, not sugar-coating anything. And I didn’t publish until he had said OK.

    I know other bloggers are way less sensitive and polite about this, bluntly pointing out whatever moron and slacker they’ve run into during the week. There’s no truth in this. We all have to put up and tune in our own inner compass. What “feels” right – to ourselves. I want to be able to look everyone I play with into the eyes, I don’t want to write things I couldn’t have told them in the face. That’s my decision. And I think it has kept me out of situations like the one you describe, without making me feel too crippled as a blogger. I think it only has happened once or twice over the years that I’ve felt restricted when I couldn’t share things that mattered to me.

    • 6 Pugnacious Priest October 1, 2010 at 1:47 am

      It’s made me wary of being allowed to have an opinion on even my own experience, and I only wrote about it because I felt there was no other avenue of discussion available at the time. I named a ninja lately, but thats the worse name and shame I’ve done ( and that post wasn’t an issue ) but I what did cause the issue, was part of a bigger issue that I didn’t write about, even though i wanted to. I probably should have tackled the issue when it happened, rather then running away and writing about it when I felt safe in the confines of my own protective space, but didn’t want to start drama.

  4. 7 Lath September 28, 2010 at 7:35 am

    I remember that House episode! In that particular context I have to admit I felt very sorry for her SO, I personally couldn’t be with someone like that.

    I think as a blogger its your right to write about what you want but I believe that the majority of us WoW bloggers in any case are fairly diplomatic about how we discuss guild situations and random players. While you hear of many incidents Fail PUGs, dramas what have you I can’t really think of many bloggers that include in game character names, servers etc that would really identify who they took issue with.

    • 8 Pugnacious Priest October 1, 2010 at 1:38 am

      the needing approval from her commentors was one thing that kind struck me as bad – especially on relationship matters “5 commentors agree.. ” she said. I don’t think I have ever quoted commentor stats to back up anything I write though – however the approval thing I guess is a big part of any blogging. “yes I agree.. ” kind of things validate your own position, but can also be dangerous, I think it was actually a comment from someone else on a post that triggered my issue. I named someone recently ( though that post wasn’t the issue) but it’s been the acception to the rule – I don’t name anyone, just they were able to see themselves in an old post, and wasn’t happy.

  5. 9 Nikola September 28, 2010 at 8:31 am

    It’s hard to determine the all-around “good thing” with stuff like this. Basically, you just need good judgement. If someone might be offended if you write about him, it might be a good idea to skip it. Sometimes, it might not be. What i always do, though, is omit any sort of identification, be it name, nickname, location, anything of the sort.

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