Zelmaru from Murloc Parliament talked about not being ‘liked’ for an unknown reason, and what you should do, if you do dislike someone in “No body likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go and eat worms” , and that has given me a reason to finish this post off.  Like Zelmaru I don’t expected to be liked by everyone, I P people off in real life.  ( hey that should be a tshirt) but it would be nice to know Why.

This post has been sitting half finished since I server transfer quit AGAIN,  and slunk back to Proudmore  with the realisation that sometimes burning bridges is a good thing.

I got asked a interesting question in my re- interview for the raiding spot   that confused me  a little because I had to think on a concept,

“Do you know you will be playing with people  you don’t like?”

I wondered at the time, and considering the grilling I got in my reinterview, and the hoops I was told I would need to jump through to prove myself,  as well as the general difficulty I had in getting them to acknowledge I want to raid –   should the question have been “Do you know you will be playing with people who don’t like you?”

When expressing my confusion at my supposed apparent and obvious dislike,  I said,  well  there was only ever really one person I had issue with – and I don’t believe he is in the guild anymore  anyway – but even me and him sorted that out with a long discussion on vent,  so we were cool. So I’m not sure what gave you the impression I don’t like someone? ( especially since I am usually uncharacteristically quite in raid )

Was  there reasons I didn’t know about that should cause me to dislike someone? –  well that kind of thinking only makes you paranoid.

I did however had to think. Who I actually liked – and I realised how little I knew them. I didn’t know most of them well enough to dislike them.

If we use the analogy that Wow raiding is very much like a 2nd job, you  may not ‘like’ everyone in the office – but you probably don’t know them all too well,  or  have an interest in doing so,  but it also doesn’t necessarily affect your working or business relationship with them. They are colleagues but not a friend. A friend is a bonus – its a deeper connection then a colleague, and you make that because of time invested.

So sometimes  it means working with people you have nothing personally in common with bar that you are at the same place and time to get a job done.

I am amazed  sometimes at such obvious dislike and I guess snark I do see in guilds that if you can get past your personal differences and still raid with someone – and not cause public disruption or another officer tell you to quit it,  well that truly is a working relationship.

Do we need like/dislike buttons against guildy names?  Am I taking this concept of like or dislike too seriously – and that  concept of like and dislike are now as serious pressing a button on a status update.

There are people I have disliked  – however they are usually terrible examples of humanity eg  the Chick that changed Peoples guild notes,  and had to have daddy clean up her forum post messes.  Or the guy who muted me in raid, and his lovely companion in that same raid that told the only other female to “Shut up you f’ken W*hore”

How do you treat other people?  has to be one of the biggest nudge worthy items on the scale of dislike or like. Do you  go out of your way to make other people’s games or lives miserable? Do you manipulate people? Spread rumours for kicks? Those kind of things shall not endear you to me.

Doesn’t matter now  – I burned my bridges – wasn’t sure who would care if I did go to the effort of saying goodbye, because even with working relationships.  When it’s not working. It’s not.

But I am not sure how I would go about displaying my dislike of someone. Perhaps I need to be clearer  about those I do like or respect, so there is a greater variable.

3 Responses to “Dislike.”

  1. 1 Mokele January 30, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    People I don’t like generally don’t know I don’t like them. I treat them with basic respect & manners, which enables me to keep interaction with them at a bare minimum. Reacting negatively to them would likely cause drama which would necessitate me wasting my time & energy talking about them or to them, much less having to waste my brain space even thinking about them

    They may notice I don’t go out of my way to help them or converse with them, but they won’t notice outright animosity. I can work with them fine when I need to.

    By way of example, there’s a guy in my guild currently who I do not like. When he replies to my forum posts, I don’t respond to him. Why should I spend even 10 minutes of my time clarifying for him? I don’t like him enough to worry about whether he understands what I’m saying or not.

    I kinda have an inbuilt ignore feature for people I don’t like, I don’t listen to what they have to say, or read what they write. I don’t call them out on their mistakes or idiocies, if they’re gonna get constructive criticism, it won’t be from me, coz I simply don’t care enough about whether they improve their personality malfunctions or not.

    There is ofc a line which when crossed I will call people out – if their behaviour is hurtful to anyone I do like, i will knock them down. But otherwise they aren’t really worth my time or attention.

  2. 2 Ophelie January 31, 2011 at 1:46 am

    I’ve seen some people do really nasty things for no other reason than not liking the other person. I have this one friend in WoW who, no matter what she does, always seems to attract bullies. And it’s not like she was making it up: I’ve witnessed the bullying myself.

    Me, when I don’t like someone, I usually just try to avoid them. My last guild had a lot of, um, *interesting* characters with, um, *varying* amounts of social skills so personality conflicts happened all the time. I just didn’t pay much attention to them. It’s the advantage of large guilds: Mr. and Mrs Annoying-pants just get lost in the crowd and you don’t have to notice them if you don’t want to.

  3. 3 syl February 1, 2011 at 10:41 am

    To be honest, the question you got asked, as much as I can understand it should be a tad vexing given the circumstances, is not so different from the reality all players face.
    the truth about guilds, any guild is, that it’s a social construct where not everyone will be friends with everyone – nor has to be. I could even see a question like “Do you know you will be playing with people you won’t necessarily like?” pop up on a raidguild’s application form. it’s a reality and in order to join a guild you do not have to like each and everyone. nor them you.

    so what, there are few who don’t like you – it’s the same for everybody tbh. 🙂

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